What if the reason parenting feels so overwhelming isn’t because you’re doing it wrong, but because you’re chasing a version of “balance” that was never realistic to begin with?

So many busy parents feel like they’re failing because life doesn’t look perfectly balanced — work, kids, marriage, home, hobbies, all neatly managed at once. When reality doesn’t match that picture, guilt and stress creep in fast.

In today’s episode of Parents Making Time, we challenge the myth of balance in parenting and offer a healthier, more sustainable approach--an approach rooted in intentional parenting, presence, and priorities that actually work in real family life. Instead of chasing perfection, we invite you to trade balance for rhythm and learn how to ride the waves of parenting without burning out.

BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU’LL DISCOVER:

• Why the idea of “balance” often creates more pressure, guilt, and anxiety for busy parents
• How to reframe parenting as seasons and rhythms — not a checklist or a constant juggling act
• Practical ways to stay present with your kids and family, even during the most demanding seasons of life

Whether you’re navigating a demanding career, raising kids, managing a household, or simply trying to be more intentional with the time you have, this episode will help you release unrealistic expectations and find more joy, connection, and peace in your parenting journey.

Easily improve your intentional parenting efforts at mealtime with our FREE resource, Dinner Conversation Starters.

Download our FREE resource, 30-Second Micro Moments of Intention with Your Kids, created for busy parents like you who need easy, actionable ways to have daily meaningful connections with their kids in less than a minute!

Parenting Questions? Email us at [email protected] (Please note, your question may be featured on the show).

For parenting inspiration, time management ideas, and encouragement for families, follow the hosts' individual accounts:

Anthony Craiker: Instagram | LinkedIn

Jennifer Craiker: Instagram

Interested in joining our free online parenting community? Send us a DM to receive an invite!

Enjoy the show? Leave a rating & review: Apple | Spotify

Transcript

Parents Making Time Ep. 17

Jennifer: [00:00:00] Hey everybody. Before we get started today, we wanted to remind you of a free resource we have for you on our website. We have created a list of dinner conversation starters that we wanna share with you to help you have better conversations with your kids over dinner. You can get that by going to parents making time.com/dinner conversations.

Go there now so that you can start having those great conversations. 

Anthony: Hey, so what if the whole idea of having balance in parenting is completely misunderstood? So many of us chase this picture, perfect life, work, dialed in, happy, thriving kids, a clean house, and sufficient time for our own interests or hobbies.

And when it doesn't look like that. We feel like we're failing, but what if balance isn't something we achieve so much as something we navigate in real time? What if it's more like being on a surfboard? The waves change moment to moment, but we try our best to stay on the board, and sometimes we even wipe out.

Well, in today's [00:01:00] episode, we're unpacking why the myth of balance creates guilt and unnecessary pressure in our lives and how to trade it for rhythm presence. Priorities that actually work in real family life so that you can truly enjoy riding the wave of parenting.

This is parents making time. The show that helps busy parents put family first without burning out. We are Anthony and Jennifer Craiker. We don't just give parenting tips. We help you become the parent you want to be.

Jennifer: Alright, so many, many years ago when Anthony was graduating from law school, we had a conversation that I would say has been one that we've reminded ourselves of at various times in our life since.

I was eight months pregnant at the time with our last child, and Anthony was now done with law school, but now he needed to start studying for the bar exam. And to make matters worse, our baby was to be born just days before the bar exam, and we were going to move a few [00:02:00] hours away just a few days after that.

So we had a lot going on that summer and that night as we laid in bed talking about all that lie ahead of us, Anthony said something to me, he said. I can't help you with that. And he was jokingly pointing to my very large belly and you can't help me study for the bar exam, so we'll figure out the move, but really we'll see each other in August and it's kind of funny and we laugh about it, but it was really wise because there was no such thing as balance in this situation.

There was just no way he needed to be all in, in what he was doing. And I had to put all my efforts into home. 

Anthony: And thankfully we realized that, but therein lies the mistake that a lot of parents make in this journey. We call family life. The mistake is thinking that there is such a thing as balance or thinking.

That balance means that you give. Equal attention to all of the things all of the time, or a proportionate amount of attention to those things based on some I ideal that you have in, in your [00:03:00] mind about what balance is expecting. That balance is something that you figure out. And then you've got, it is another mistake that's made because really there is no such thing as balance.

If we're being truly honest in life changes moment to moment and we have to be adaptable. And when we set ourselves up for this idea of balance in family life, we're setting ourselves up for failure. 

Jennifer: I think the issue though is, is that we believe that balance is the perfect way. Somehow society has told us that, and we treat it almost like a checklist.

Like if I've done this, if I've done that, I've got it all together and I'm fully balanced and all is 

Anthony: great. And what happens is when we do that is we increase our stress, uh, we increase our anxiety because we're setting up these unrealistic expectations, and then it makes it actually less likely that we're gonna be adaptable.

To the inevitable punches that are gonna be thrown our way. Right. We we're, we're not able to adapt, we're not able to adjust, and then we end up [00:04:00] feeling like failures as parents and we end up. Missing out on the moment. We miss being present because we're so focused on this idea of, oh, I've gotta find balance.

I've, I've gotta create balance with our family life, uh, so that everything goes the way it's quote unquote supposed to. When we do that, we end up missing out on what matters most, which is being present in the time that we do have with our kids, and creating time, uh, with our kids that we can look back on with.

Fondness and, and know that we're creating a real lasting legacy of love with our families. 

Jennifer: I mean, it's hard. It's really hard because this idea of balance is really ingrained in our minds. It's, it's really ingrained in our society, but we need to let go of that idea of perfection, at least perfection as far as being balanced.

We need to really take a step back and be. Priority focused, not driven by what can we accomplish or how much did we do [00:05:00] today we're, we've gotta stop maxing out our schedule to do it all and redefine success. And think rather, what did I do today? Well, how was I today? How did today go? Did I connect? Was I there?

Was I present? Those are the better questions than what did I check off my to-do list? And if we can do that, I think we'll start feeling better, 

Anthony: As we're. Talking through this episode beforehand, I was thinking about how there are all these resources and tools and books and courses and things like that out there about how to manage our time, how to find balance and different tactics and techniques and things and.

It we get in our head this idea that there's some magic way, and if we can just discover that magic way to find balance, everything will be smooth sailing. The reality is that while some of those ideas and resources can be helpful at different times in our lives, they're not necessarily going to be a permanent solution to all of the challenges and demands on our time.[00:06:00]

Jennifer: Yeah, and going back to the analogy you used at the very beginning about a surfboard. Neither one of us are surfers, but we live in Florida and we go to the beach and we've boogie, boarded, and I think of the times that I've actually caught the wave and flown into the, into the shore. Yeah. How much fun that is.

Right? Right. Like you're among chaos and the waves are crashing, but you're flying through and you're, and it's. Fun. And so thinking about what if you could let go of this idea of balance and just ride the wave and have fun with it, 

Anthony: and it's only fun. It's, it's really only fun because it's hard to do.

Yeah. Right, because you fail so many times. True. That when you finally do get to ride the wave. It's like, oh wow, this is amazing. And so we, we have to recognize, I, I think it's important to look at this idea of how we live our lives and how we manage our time kind of holistically and say, okay, there are going to be times where I am crashing, right?

I'm wiping out on the surfboard or the boogie [00:07:00] board, and that's just how life is. But there are gonna be other times where I'm gonna ride that wave and it's gonna be smooth sailing and it's gonna be beautiful, and it's gonna be fun, and I'm gonna feel like I accomplished something. 

Jennifer: And you can enjoy that moment because you've, you've endured the others.

Right. You know, it's all a part of the same thing. 

Anthony: You know, we've seen this in our, in other examples in our lives. You talked about when I was in law school, but there's been other. Times where we've been able to accomplish some things. 'cause we didn't worry so much about the idea of balance. So one example is several years ago we live in, Orlando, Florida, but the firm that I work for is headquartered in a different state.

And at the time the firm wanted to open up, a local office here in central Florida. I was tasked without responsibility 'cause I was the managing attorney in this area. And so on top of my regular job of practicing law. I had to find office space. I had to get. Office furniture and equipment. I had to [00:08:00] hire staff.

And it was kind of this big deal and it took a lot of time to get this office up and running and get new staff trained, that were local and try to accomplish some of the goals that we had as a firm with this office, in addition to my normal. Responsibilities. , And that's an example of where I was spending a lot of hours at work.

I was still also doing a little bit of traveling with work. And ultimately we, I was able to get that office up and running and accomplish that. But it was there, there was no balance in that time with family life. 

Jennifer: No, I can remember us actually having a conversation. Over the cell phone.

'cause I think we weren't together very often and I said to you. I've got the family, you handle this we'll get through it. Yeah. And that's just how we had to do it. 

Anthony: Yeah. And it was a, a few months of, of kind of me not being as available to our family as I, I would've liked, but we made it work. We even [00:09:00] had the kids come and help and set up.

Yeah, I remember office put together desks and stuff like that at the office. Yes. You know, we, there were ways to make it work, but and we were still focused on our family. Our family was still our highest priority. It's just that particular season in life was really busy and it took me away more than I would've liked, but it was necessary for my job.

And so again, going back to that surfboard analogy, you know, the waves were difficult, but we stayed on the board and we rode 'em together as a family. 

Jennifer: Yeah. Another time I can think about is when I decided to go back to college. I did it online. It didn't. You know, I wasn't going to class all the time or anything, but it still took away from the family and you and I had that conversation of what that meant and how we could ride that wave.

Anthony: So I think the big takeaway here is don't stress about balance. If you're chasing after balance you're chasing after a mythical creature. It's not realistic to think that your life [00:10:00] is gonna be perfectly balanced, and that if you can just get to that point and figure out whatever tools or strategies you need to sustain it, then everything's gonna be great.

You are setting yourself up for failure. So rather than thinking of life that way. And parenting in particular that way. Think of it more like the surfboard analogy that we've mentioned a couple of times now. Ride the waves. Enjoy the ride. 

Jennifer: Adjust to 

Anthony: the waves. Adjust to the waves. If you wipe out, you wipe out and you get back on the board, right?

You keep going. And if that becomes your expectation as opposed to some mythical idea of balance, then. Your ability to be present and to experience joy in parenting is going to be greatly magnified. For sure. So if you like this episode, please leave us a rating or review and share this episode with a [00:11:00] friend.

We would be greatly appreciative, if you would do those things. 

Jennifer: And coming up next time, we are talking about something that every couple faces at some point. It's those seasons when parenting takes over and the marriage quietly slips into the back burner when you're juggling kids and schedules and exhaustion.

Your connection can start to fade without either one of you, meaning for it too. So we're gonna share simple, meaningful ways to get closer and why intentional time together matters, and why making date night a priority is important, not just to you as a couple, but to the entire family. So if you're ready for more joy and more laughter and more us time, again, this one's for you.

And until next time, make time to become the parent you want to be.